The real reason she will date him is hidden to her. Despite all of the difficulties, her sociopathic husband was someone "..whom I shared a million happy, fun times" (2009).
She'll date him because he's identified her as someone who will meet a need (. The sociopath carefully crafts his relationships so that he can get his partners to do his bidding, whatever that may be.
Aside from there now been code red and amber situations, what helps to differentiate between the two or even change the status is context: If you have previously been involved with the same or similar, or their behaviour is very similar or the same as a parent or authority figure from your childhood, or you actually have the same issue, you must abort mission. If you have not habitually been involved with someone similar or the same, no family history and whatever the issue is, they state and can show that it’s in the process of being dealt with for at least a few months, it’s a code amber.
If for whatever reason, the situation feels familiar to what has been previously unhealthy relationships, it’s code amber, or if in being involved with them you’re acting without love, care, trust, or respect to yourself, or would need to in order to continue, it’s code red.
He treats the person he's dating like a queen so he can get away with sneakily treating her like a pawn.
He needs to achieve checkmate, and this is his strategy.
On the surface, dating a sociopath doesn't seem like dating a sociopath at all.
The sociopath can't love, but she can fake it incredibly well.
We don’t ask questions, clarify information, or assert boundaries – all things that should happen in an amber situation.
Following my original post ‘knowing when to bail – red flags’, I’ve now delved a little further because so many people try to be the exception to the rule and have little or no boundaries.
Therein lies one of the first problems that comes with dating a sociopath. The sociopath has fabricated a character and is playing a role in order to manipulate and control her unsuspecting partner.
A relationship with a sociopath is often one-sided (the sociopath has a selfish motive whereas her partner is emotionally invested in an actually relationship).
The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.